50 Random Things About Me....

1. I have a history of seeing hawks when significant things in my life are about to happen (or have happened).
2. I miss milk.
3. I am so blessed to have Ben for many reasons-- but most notably he won’t let me do the dishes. He’s obsessive about them...it’s his own little thing.
4. I think Hydrangeas are gorgeous and wish I had carried them in our wedding.
5. My weakness is that I need validation from people.
6. I am a fanatic about NOT eating food that is past its expiration date.
7. I am a people watcher and can get obsessed when I’m out in public wondering about other people’s lives
8. I think I sometimes have unrealistic expectations of life.
9. I absolutely LOVE the hilarious stories that Cajes has started making up since he turned four. It’s hard not to laugh at his little white lies even…...And at the end of the day when I put Cajes to bed—I really enjoy hearing his favorite part of the day and his worst part of the day, which sometimes are the same thing (?).
10. I am petrified by vomit and/or ants…so much so that I have to take anxiety medicine!
11. I never expected to feel torn between my work at Open Hearts and my job as a mom and it makes me feel terrible when the guilt sets in.
12. I have a specific way I fold towels and all my washcloths have to be in the same direction---thanks mom! :)
13. I like to have back-up plans but want more spontaneity in my life—go figure.
14. I once had a job title of "Integrated Sales and Logistic Retail Specialist"---basically I stocked Lifesavers and Bubble Yum in grocery/convenience stores for Nabisco...I even had business cards with that title.
15. I love so many reality shows that I can’t even admit how many….but it’s a lot---too many.
16. I look really organized on the outside but if you look in my spice cabinet or kitchen utensil drawer you’d think differently.
17. I'm an Idealist married to a Realist.
18. Anxiety and fear can paralyze me in an instant….and then nausea sets in.
19. There are only a few people who have seen the real, raw, true Sonia….it’s a vulnerable feeling.
20. I totally LOVE taking pictures and archiving my family. Sometimes I think if I take a picture of something it will make it last…like Cajes’s little baby feet.
21. I feel uncomfortable in large groups of people I don't know.
22. I have never smoked a cigarette in my life.
23. I think kidney stones are more painful than childbirth and they can last for months.
24. I am dying to visit Africa.
25. I have friends who I love like family and consider them like sisters and brothers.
26. I have been to a lot of concerts (though not as many now that Cajes has been around), yet it has been enough to stun him when he is a teenager/adult and he can appreciate this part of my life.
27. I thought it would be difficult to have children but got pregnant on birth control, and now that we are trying to get pregnant we haven't had good luck.
28. I believe in destiny but think we play a part in controlling it.
29. I've only met my biological father once in my life and he was full of himself. I don't miss him because I can't miss something I've never had. However I regret his choice to not have a relationship with me. It was his loss.
30. I love the house we live in and wished deeply that we owned it. I need this much space.
31. I know what it's like to have your heart broken over and over. It makes you a different person.
32. My husband would have never dated if we had met in high school. We were totally different people.
33. My mom is the most resilient person I know and I honor her for that.
34. I have a bad habit of cussing--- and I have had to learn to watch my mouth now that I have a child....but there's something that makes me feel better when I am mad and can cuss. My papaw cussed....maybe it's hereditary.
35. I regret never learning to play the guitar from my PawPaw Cages.
36. When I get really frustrated I cry.
37. One of my top 3 regrets is never seeing The Grateful Dead live.
38. I've moved 16 times in my life and have never liked it.
39. I think the world would be a better place if we could alway out ourselves in other people's shoes and all be kinder than necessary.
40. I think Health Insurance is a money racket but I would never be caught without it!
41. I am pretty sure I could eat sushi or Thai food every day for the rest of my life.
42. If I had the money I'd have a house at the beach and in the mountains....and that's my plan for my future....people are skeptical this will happen but people were also skeptical I'd find a job combining Art and Mental Healthcare.
43. I like to sleep late.
44. I love the smell of gas and rubber cement.
45. I'm addicted to Facebook.
46. I truly believe "it's the little things in life".
47. When I was little we had the same thing for dinner on the same nights of the week, every week.
48. I don't like to dress up.
49. I have an affinity for old chairs and yellow tom cats.
50. I think at some point in my life I will get the opportunity to hug a bear.

In a FUNK......

So, here it is March and I realize I am a total slacker. I haven’t updated the blog in over 3 months and we have so much to share. We had a wonderful Christmas….visiting with lots of family and undoing thousands of wires that secure toys in the box like it was a 4 karat diamond and not just a Tonka truck. Cajes wrote his own letter to Santa Claus insisting HE write it himself and not me or his dad.

Then he added a P.S. letter, since 4 year olds write so large it takes up a whole page for a sentence, reminding Santa that he wanted the Kasey Kahne race car and gas can. It was pretty funny…and he was so excited Christmas morning when he realized Santa heard his wish and he did get it. All of this is preceded by a letter that he got from Santa Claus…(i.e. my mom)…after watching Polar Express. This is the first year Cajes truly understood what Christmas was about. Not just the presents but Jesus’ birthday. Now, he started his tradition of cake-making for Jesus last year but I don’t believe he had the full concept down until this year. Anyway…we had at least 4 manger scenes in the house including one just for Cajes’ room because if you know us you know Cajes is obsessed with all things Jesus. Anyway, we made Jesus a cake and Santa some cookies. And on Christmas morning Santa did remember the Kasey Kahne car and gas can….and we ate Jesus’ cake for breakfast remembering all of the blessings we shared this year.

In addition to our regular Christmas soirees, we also hosted our

1^st Annual Ugly Christmas Party which was HILARIOUS!!! We had so much fun laughing at each other and playing Guitar Hero, drinking martinis and “fellowshipping” that the night seemed to be over before it began almost.

2008 left and 2009 started a little rocky for us and many people we know….

Throughout December, January and February, we (meaning 95% Cajes) have been riddled with illnesses. When I speak in plural I mean back-to-back viruses, Strep Throat, Ear Infections, Sinus Infections, Walking Pneumonia and now allergies. We went through the arduous back skin prick test and found out Cajes was allergic to dust mites, dog, cats and grass….4 things we can’t and won’t eliminate from our lives unless it becomes seriously hazardous. <<>> So what can we really do??? Dempsey is 13 and Lucy is 16—we can’t abandon them. Luckily the animals don’t go in his room and we have a house that is not completely dust-mite friendly having hardwood floors and new carpet. Now we just have to be vigilant about washing Cajes’ sheets and blankets and stuffed toys he sleeps with in hot water at least once a week—which may be task. Oh, and the Doctor suggested allergy shots for 3 years—every week!!! That’s 156 shots….rather ridiculous for it to only reduce his chance of getting asthma by 60%. There has to be another answer….but what??? I’m already a germaphobe and go out of my way to keep things as sterile as possible. What do I do now? Anyone who can build me a bubble will be handsomely rewarded.

Cajes is having surgery on March 31 to have tubes put in his ears, as well as his tonsils and adenoids removed. Let’s pray this will be an answer and an end to his repeated illnesses this year.

The feeling of complete overwhelmedness takes over my mind some days and I have to be reigned back in like a wild stallion when I start obsessing over things out of my control. I quickly spiral form worry to full-blown obsession within minutes. This year I am especially fearful of germs, viruses and vomit and in an unhealthy way….I usually have to spell out the word vomit when talking about it because even the word sounds gross….v-o-m-i-t…..it just sounds so nasty. If I didn’t have to have Cajes in preschool I’d keep him home and only expose him to people who I knew didn’t have germs. And I know this would only hurt him in the end because the germ exposure builds his immune system. I know all of that!!! But I’m sick and tired of every one being sick and tired. And then when he is sick and I complain about it I feel guilty because there are so many children out there with terminal and serious illnesses, but I hurt to see my baby hurt on any level. And I feel like everyone has been affected by illness directly or indirectly all fall and winter.

Anyway….our business is undergoing some major changes at all levels— administrative to direct care….all paperwork having to be re-created and changed. Policies and Procedures re-written. Some weeks I don’t and can’t physically get all of my work completed and feel so full of guilt over this too because my job is much like another child that needs nurtured and coddled with care. Then when I don’t meet my deadlines I come home and bring the anxiety into my house where Cajes and Ben are left to contend with my complete abandonment of rationale. And I forget that I need to BE HERE NOW….and I am reminded that I am in a funk….but can’t figure out how to get out of the hole…it seems to be consuming me most days.

Then Cajes will come to me and say something totally hilarious and I am brought back to reality. A few weeks ago he came to me while I was cooking dinner and he was playing outside and asked for two Oreo’s. He said “just two mom—just two.” And I made him shake hands making a deal he would eat all of his dinner. He left and within a few minutes returned with chocolate bulging out the sides of his mouth. He was trying to ask for just one more cookie but his mouth was so full I couldn’t understand him. After clearing his mouth he said “Mom, can I have one more Oreo please (?), because one of mine just blew away.” I of course replied with “WHAT? I just gave you two….where did they go?” He said “I ate one but the other one blew away in the wind—just disappeared into the sky!”

2 days later he enters the den with a rubber glove on his hand and asked Ben to open his mouth so he could look inside. (I guess with all the strep he’s gotten used to this). Ben said “No—you’re not putting that glove in my mouth”—not knowing where it had been in his closet and then Cajes INSISTED that his daddy play along. So Ben opens his mouth and Cajes looks in and acts like he’s really interested in what’s going on in there. Finally he takes his hand out and proclaims “Yep, Daddy—just what I thought…you’ve got a little bit of diarrhea.”

And in those moments I remember how silly four-year olds can be and that I should relish these moments and cherish them instead of worrying over the endless list of crap that I obsess over. These are the years I will long for one day and in my rational mind I know that. I just need to stay in that rational mindset.

Cajes recites the 23rd Psalm

For preschool Cajes was taught the 23rd Psalm and will be reciting this on January 20th in chapel. I didn't know he knew it and was caught off guard with the camera when he asked me to tape him. Well, after the first take I realized I had missed some of it and decided to do a re-take. This is what unfolded. A stamping his foot, angry version of one of the sweetest verses in the Bible.

Cajes sings the blessing

Giving Thanks (better late than never)

Note the date---expired in 1985!!
Sorry mama!

For most of you who TRULY know me-- you know that I love Thanksgiving! I love to cook, I love to eat, and most of all it's my mama's favorite of all holidays so it's special to me because it's special to her. I also like that there's no hustle and bustle that comes with the anticipation of Christmas....the frenzy of presents and having to see everyone in such a short period of time...some of them are the same people you see all year too....which is odd. Don't get me wrong I like Christmas with all of it's traditions well enough, but Thanksgiving has a laid back and relaxing feeling unlike other holidays. And this Thanksgiving was exceptionally enjoyable. We cooked and ate and relaxed, playing Scrabble (which I won at...) and then we roasted Marshmallows on the back porch with Cajes for the first time in his life...a sweet moment (no pun intended).

Collage of Love

~Please click on the picture to magnify the smaller images~

Below I've compiled a list of things I am thankful for
(in no particular order).
I suppose you could say
"These are a few of my favorite things".

1. Cajes laughing
2. Ben's faithful love
3. Wonderful family--immediate and extended
4. Great friends who are like family to us
5. My camera and having an archive of photographs all the way back to my childhood
6. Icing, but not cake
7. Birds in synchronized flight
8. Sushi
9. The smell of fresh cut grass, rain or Christmas trees
10. My job at Open Hearts (including our awesome staff and wonderful students)
11. Sand between my toes and hearing waves crash
12. Rock Stacks, Cairns, Inuksuk's
13. Live music and the memories we made at shows
14. Long baths in deep bathtubs
15. Eucalyptus & Lavender
16. Creating new things from old things--Altered artwork
17. My IPod and ITunes
18. Soft blankets and a bed to sleep in at night
19. The Screen Door and The L.O.F.T.
20. County and State Fairs
21. That Barak Obama was elected as the 44th President and we got to witness History in the making
22. Having a big front porch and a little pond
23. Rocking chairs....well, old chairs of any kind really
24. Finding a father when I was 35 years old
25. Pomegranate Martinis
26. Quiet time
27. Good books
28. Xanax (for anxiety--not for fun)
29. That people love me the way I am
30. Finding someone who can cut my hair the way I want it--not the way they want it
31. Having pets (Dempsey who is 11, and Lucy who is 15)
32. Memories of my childhood--making mud pies and wearing Hee-Haw overalls
33. Wild flowers in mason jars
34. Old friends....some I've had since elementary school
35. Folk art
36. Being at my mom's house
37. Love letters
38. Artwork Cajes has made
39. The smell of Cajes after a bath and how cute he looks in footie pajamas
40. Creme Brulee & Coca~Cola (not together--well, maybe)
41. Reliable transportation
42. Comfort and understanding when I'm down
43. The hope of our future
44. Good health ---relatively--- :)
{Some may disagree on this one -- but it could always be worse}
45. Rainbows and 4-leaf clovers
46. A little bit of TV...(esp. The Office, American Idol, Survivor, & Mystery Diagnosis)
47. That Ben is finished with school and we both have careers we care about
48. Cell phones--crazy but true...
49. A pool when it's hot outside
50. That my husband likes to keep the house as tidy as me (well, almost)
51. Keens
52. Spellcheck
53. Hydrangeas--more blue than pink
54. Facebook
55. Hardwood floors
56. Having a dishwasher
57. Miracles
58. Playgrounds--particularly swingsets
59. Living in Weaverville
60. Days I get to sleep late

Cajes makes Dempsey wear the Fire Chief hat...

YES WE DID!!

I know the name of my blog is It's the Little Things--well THIS is no LITTLE THING! This is HUGE and I felt the need to post my thoughts about it...

Over the course of the past 2 years I have been hopeful yet nervous, and excited yet reluctant to get too attached to the idea that we may get to witness the most profound moment in political history in our era...and yet we have!! And I am overjoyed with pride to have had a hand in making this happen because my vote was among the 62 million people who decided it was time for a change in the dynamics of our United States. It was worth being raked through the coals by many people who did not see the vision Obama had to relish this day of anticipated victory! Today George Stephanopolous likened this momentous event to Lincoln being elected in 1860, Rooselvelt in 1932 and Reagan in 1980. This is a man who was able to pull even staunch Republicans over the line with his sincerely inclusive mind frame.


As reported by CBS News on November 5th:
"As far as epochal moments of a nation are concerned, the election of Barack Obama to be the forty-fourth President of the United States is virtually certain to rank near the very top. While the historical, sociological and political meaning of campaign 2008 will be written about and analyzed for a generation or more, the immediate impact of the election results is this: A sweeping mandate for Obama’s campaign mantra of change.

Indeed, Obama’s election arguably represents the most dramatic break from the status quo ever in presidential politics. The first black president, one with a less-than-familiar name, is in so many ways a complete repudiation of everything about the presidency of George W. Bush.

The once-improbable Democratic candidate has ridden the twin themes of “hope” and “change” into the White House, and that, combined with his juggernaut of a campaign operation fueled by unprecedented fundraising, has helped his party extend its advantages in Congress to the point where there is a real possibility of sweeping changes in the country’s direction. The sheer size of the victory would be mandate enough, but Obama’s is a promise of fundamental, radical change, not incremental adjustments, giving even more impetus to his agenda.

Throughout the course of the election, Obama became a symbol for the frustrations, anxiety and concerns of a country in the midst of economic crisis and war. He systematically sought to connect himself to transformational leaders and moments from the nation’s past - Abraham Lincoln, John F. Kennedy and the Civil Rights movement were among those most commonly referenced - he even spoke kindly of Republican icon Ronald Reagan.

Now, with an election victory the size of which has been unseen in presidential election in decades, this young President-elect has the expectations of that lineage to fulfill.

“There will be setbacks and false starts,” Obama cautioned in his victory speech early Wednesday morning. “There are many who won’t agree with every decision or policy I make as President, and we know that government can’t solve every problem. But I will always be honest with you about the challenges we face. I will listen to you, especially when we disagree. And above all, I will ask you join in the work of remaking this nation the only way it’s been done in America for two-hundred and twenty-one years - block by block, brick by brick, calloused hand by calloused hand.”

Obama will have time. Americans traditionally afford their new presidents a honeymoon period. Considering the massive problems his new administration will face, it can’t possibly be enough. And after all the confetti is swept away, Americans will not let the promises Obama made fade. They elected him to fulfill those promises, and they are many and big. But he has a mandate to try."

And I personally count myself among the ranks of Americans who are willing to try something different and get behind a President that embodies passion and determination. I'm excited to support the man who has given a warm and inviting face to the fact that we can overcome boundaries to becomes anything we desire if we really want it badly enough---and that we can have unity even through diversity!

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible, who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time, who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer."

"A new dawn of American leadership is at hand!" (Obama)

I no doubt wept as Obama spoke eloquently (as always) and I began to think of all of the historical figures that paved the way for his success. From Abraham Lincoln to Rosa Parks, and Medgar Evers to Dr. King, Lyndon B Johnson, John F Kennedy and especially Barack Obama's precious grandmother who passed one day short of his victory. In the words of my friend Van "I'd like to think that somehow she knew that he could pull this off, and that she didn't have to hold on any longer than she could." Lord knows there was celebrating and mass jubilation in Heaven on Tuesday night!


Finally I want to conclude with a quote from Cornel West (Princeton Professor) on Bill Maher last Friday night-- 10/31/08. This quote touched me so much that I had Ben rewind the DVR over and over to listen carefully and write it down word for word.

“It’s an exciting time….when you see this kind of desperation. It really is a last gasp of the conservative era where the economics of greed, the culture of indifference and the politics of fear have been brought together in such a way that it hides and conceals the plight of poor people and working people…..The real question is –Can we generate a commitment to fairness and justice in the face of greed—Can we generate compassion in the face of indifference and can we generate hope in the face of fear? That’s what Brother Barack is all about!”


On a lighter note: I don't idolize Obama by any means....I'm just celebrating the joy of a new day....a breath of fresh air was much needed in the stuffy and stale White House. Despite all of the nitty-gritty political jargon....I'm just happy to see a family in there---with a husband and wife that have real connection with each other and their children...and they seem to embody what the family structure should represent. It's nice to fincally see some love.

I LOVE Fall!

Pumpkin Carving, Snow Before Halloween
and NOT Trick-or-Treating:

A few weekends back we had a pumpkin carving party with some friends... Below are some of the images but there isn't much to say about the event that hasn't been said before. We Eat, Drink, Socialize, Repeat. :) Not to discount our entertaining evening or anything--we no doubt had a good time as always...but the end result was that it was more for the kids than the adults---but we did drink some great wine...

Snow on 10/28/08

So...Cajes had a Halloween party at his preschool called a Noah's Ark Party and they could only be animals or Biblical figures. He wanted to be Jesus nailed to the cross but I explained that it probably wouldn't go over too well with his teachers and friends at school...so he opted for an alligator. We looked high and low for an alligator costume and I ended up having to alter an dinosaur suit to be alligator-ish. Anyway....he took the costume to school and then would NOT wear it during the party or any other part of the day. He went the entire day with his classmates in costumes as his hung on the door all by itself. Then that evening we were supposed to go Trick-or-Treating in BeBe and Bob-Bob's neighborhood--the Rose Garden. Cajes had been excited all month because he was going to be a race car driver (not Kasey Kahne though because they don't make Budweiser costumes for 4 year olds) and he couldn't wait to wear his outfit!!! ---but before we ever made it to the first house Cajes had a total meltdown. He never even got 1 piece of candy. It turns out he was getting sick with a cold and got up the Saturday morning with a fever and shivered all weekend. So much for Halloween 2008 and 4 year old Trick-or-Treating memories. The only thing we have to show for it is when he tried his alligator costume on Thursday night....and his crying episode when we left to go Trick-or-Treating. ~~Oh well.... maybe next year.